Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
