She said her name was "party"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Never joke about your clitoris.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
