dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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