i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
His hands were made for my vagina.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
