I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
