my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
