ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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