Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
