i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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