Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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