just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
