I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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