Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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