i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
