that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
