We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
