I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Randomize
