If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
