I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
