Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
