Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
