Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
