Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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