with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
