hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
