I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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