Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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