I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
