So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
