I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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