Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
