I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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