Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
