You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
