She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
