Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
