I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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