I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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