My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
as a side note pls kill me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
