i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
