Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
