Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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