i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
