I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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