i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Randomize
