sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
