i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
