You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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