A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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