Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
